I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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