Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
operation harelip BJ is a go
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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