I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
