toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
