I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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