Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
