take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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