You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
