jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
