She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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