He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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