why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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