How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
My bed is full of blood and feathers
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
