if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
