In the future we'll all be gay
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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