New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
