Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You're so nebulous sometimes
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
