she's into porn, im staying here tonight
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
