No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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