I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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