OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
