walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Randomize
