Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
i think im in europe. pls send help
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
