what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
