Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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