She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
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