used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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