We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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