im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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