You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
