I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
