My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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