READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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