I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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