I'm passing your future prison.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
as a side note pls kill me
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
