got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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