Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Randomize
