Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
