Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
