Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
