Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
