Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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