I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
