Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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