Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
