I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
this just has baby written all over it
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
