Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
