me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
