your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
