i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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