Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
