Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i just made my gag reflex go away.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
