i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Randomize
