Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
