Betty ford says i'm here all night
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
